I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
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