Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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