try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
