my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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