He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
