Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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