Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
