You're a womanizer and a bitch.
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
