i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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