you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Best friends brother. Beat that.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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