just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
zippers are such a cool invention
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Randomize