You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
