goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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