I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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