if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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