Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
