You made me cry and you don't even care
if only i could text you this smell
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
