While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
This is my gift to your gina
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize