I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
