please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
