Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
