But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Randomize
