WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
