Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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