She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
