I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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