Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Randomize
