Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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