Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
