STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize