new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Randomize
