Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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