how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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