I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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