Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
