so explain again why im purple
no
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Randomize
