just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
