What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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