I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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