matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
my shit smells like andre
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
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