So drunk its hurt
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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