im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I think weed is turning my hair brown
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
