So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Randomize
