i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
