Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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