i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
