He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Randomize
