Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
