She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
