so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
