Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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