I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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