I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
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