i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
