Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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