What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
