Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize