So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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