that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Randomize
