anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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