How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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