go do what you do best...puke behind churches
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
