i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Randomize
