Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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